Estimated reading time: 5 minutes, 50 seconds
Growing up under a strict father is one of the terrible things on earth, you have no freedom whatsoever. You live in perpetual fear. I will patiently wait till when I get out of this house. I will find that right man; the one who will love me and protect me from this kind of life. One more year and I will be in the university, let us see how much control daddy can have in my university.
I met my first boyfriend in my first year of university; he was so sweet and caring when we met. He was in his final year; he was your typical macho guy with all the handsomeness existing. I felt so protected with him; he loved me so much. He would make sure he saw me each day, and he always came with gifts and sweet words. He made my first year of school memorable. When he was graduating, he broke it off with me; he said he is not good with long-distance relationships. All the promises to always be by my side was broken just like that. He was the first of my many heartbreaks.
Dotun was my second boyfriend; he nursed my broken heart. Five months after my first relationship, we started dating. Dotun was tender; he was a good listener. He made me the centre of his world. He listened to all my troubles and pain; he was never the type to complain or talk much. Dotun was the anchor I needed, and he made me feel so secure. I could see our future children and oh what joy it brought to my heart daily. Dotun and I had bearly gone out for five months when he suddenly became distant. At first, I felt he was going through stuff, but he didn’t reach out to me no matter how I tried. Then I realised it, throughout this relationship he never shared. I realised then that I knew nothing about Dotun, who are his parents, how many siblings did he have, did something happen to them? Dotun shut me out and refused to let me in. I waited patiently for him, believing he will come around. He didn’t. He broke it off through a text message.
Men are scum! I can see it now. My dad, my two boyfriends, they have absolutely no regard for the female race. After Dotun, I vowed never to be with any man again. Until I met Amobi, he was a super funny guy who brought laughter into my broken heart. Two months after I broke up with Dotun, I went for a show at school. While my friends and I were leaving, my heels broke. We were trying to stop a taxi when Amobi pulled up and said it was his lucky day to prove he was a man of valour. That all he need to do was save me and add it to his resume. That joke made the embarrassment easier to bear. We became quick friends; Amobi taught me how never to let life weigh you down. He was so free-spirited, he taught me how to live life. He always made fun of me, that my Christian background was caging me up all because I refused to drink and get high. I didn’t mind that he did all those, I mean, who am I to judge? God said we shouldn’t judge right? The saddest memory about this relationship was that Amobi never asked me out, we just kissed once, and that was it, I thought we were in a relationship, I cooked for him, I washed and cleaned his house. I was on a mission to change this man. After refusing to sleep with him for three months, Amobi became tired of me. He started seeing other girls and stopped having time for me. The day I decided to give in to him, I found out there was a girl two months pregnant for him! I asked him why he was seeing someone while we were dating. Then he asked, “Were we dating?”
I went back to God that day; I repented of the thought of giving myself to a man before marriage. I asked God to wrap His arms around me to ease the broken heart that I had. I started going to fellowship more frequently. I decided I will seek only God’s face. I had spent two years, seven months following men—all for what? Multiple broken hearts! While in church, I found the Bible study session was a little too hard to understand; I had been away from church for a while. Jude was a kind brother who offered to help me understand better. Jude was a breath of fresh air, and he didn’t party or live wild. He was a perfect gentleman with a future. He helped me plan my future and make a decision of the career path I will take after graduation. Jude asked me out after four months. It felt right; he had a plan. He helped me get ignite a dream for my future. We discussed marriage; I met his mom, and he met my mom. I was already seeing my future children. This was the best relationship ever; there was no emotional push and pull. Then it happened, Jude said I am not the will of God for His life. Please, did God say that? Did he hear God’s audible voice say that? I mean, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I get the right man, I will never meet anyone like Jude ever, yet he says I am not God’s will. God, did you make a mistake creating me? Why will you tell Jude, the only right man I have met to leave me? Jude told me to stop relying on men but on God. So easy to say, God speaks to you, not me.
I decided to stay in the church; I didn’t leave. If I could find a man like Jude here, I will probably find other guys here who will be as good and who God will allow to marry me. I have one more year in school. This had to be my miracle year. I won’t waste as much time with the other guys this time around. I will be a lady on a mission, find my man, fall in love and get married.
I met three guys: Henry, Dapo, Ikem, yet no one for me. Henry was a cheat; how did he sneak into the house of the Lord? Dapo had no plans for the future. Ikem was almost perfect, but he feels his wife will only be a housewife. That would have been fine by me, but Jude already made me want more than that. Now I am graduating, four years, seven past boyfriends, and no current boyfriend. I won’t count these years as a waste, I have grown and matured. Thank God for National Youth Service Corps (NYSC), I will go to a new state and start over there.
To be continued next week…